Holy Humor

During these serious and troubled times, people of all faiths should remember
these four great religious truths:



1. Muslims do not recognize Jews as God's Chosen People.

2. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.

3.Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian world.

4. Baptists do not recognize each other at the liquor store.



GOOD SAMARITAN

A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan.

She asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and

bleeding, what would you do?" A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence,

"I think I'd throw up.."



DID NOAH FISH?


A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing

when he was on the Ark ?" "No," replied Johnny. "How could he, with just two
worms.


THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD
A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most
quoted passages in the Bible - Psalm 23 . She gave the youngsters a month to
learn the chapter. Little Rick was excited about the task - but he just couldn't
remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first
line. On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the
congregation, Ricky was so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped up to the
microphone and said proudly, "The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's all I need to
know."

UNANSWERED PRAYER
The preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused and
bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon. One day, she asked him
why. "Well, Honey," he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his
messages. "I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon." "How come He
doesn't answer it?" she asked.


BEING THANKFUL
A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, "So your mother says your prayers
for you each night? That's very commendable. What does she say?" The little boy
replied, "Thank God he's in bed!"


ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS
When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers, she would bless every family
member, every friend, and every animal (current and past). For several weeks,
after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would say, "And all girls." This
soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this closing. My curiosity
got the best of me and I asked her, "Kelli, why do you always add the part about
all girls?" Her response, "Because everybody always finish their prayers by
saying 'All Men'!"


SAY A PRAYER
Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother's
house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When
Little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away. "Johnny! Please
wait until we say our prayer." said his mother. "I don't need to," the boy
replied. "Of course, you do "his mother insisted. "We always say a prayer before
eating at our house." "That's at our house." Johnny explained. "But this is
Grandma's house and she knows how to cook.


THE BIBLE
Did you know that... When you carry the Bible, Satan has a headache. When you
open it, he collapses. When he sees you reading it, he faints. Let's read the
Bible every day so he keeps on fainting. Maybe one day he'll have a stroke and
never wake up.
And did you also know that when you are about to forward this email to others,
The devil will discourage you but forward it anyway.

WHAT DOES THIS WORD MEAN?

Dhimmitude -- What does it mean ?

Obama used it in the health care bill.
Now isn't this interesting? It is used in the health care law.
 Dhimmitude -- I had never heard the word until now.   Type it into Google and start reading. 

Pretty interesting.  It's on page 107 of the healthcare bill.   I looked this up on Google and yep, it exists.. 

It is a REAL word.

Word of the Day: Dhimmitude  Dhimmitude is the Muslim system of controlling non-Muslim populations conquered through jihad.

Specifically, it is the TAXING of non-Muslims in exchange for tolerating their presence AND as a

coercive means of converting conquered remnants to Islam.
ObamaCare allows the establishment of Dhimmitude and Sharia Muslim diktat in the United States . 

Muslims are specifically exempted from the government mandate to purchase insurance, and also from the penalty tax for being uninsured. 

Islam considers insurance to be "gambling", "risk-taking", and "usury" and is thus banned. Muslims are specifically granted exemption

based on this. 

How convenient.  So I, as a Christian, will have crippling IRS liens placed against all of my assets, including real estate, cattle, and even

accounts receivables, and will face hard prison time because I refuse to buy insurance or pay the penalty tax. Meanwhile, Louis Farrakhan

will have no such penalty and will have 100% of his health needs paid for by the de facto government insurance. 

Non-Muslims will be paying a tax to subsidize Muslims.   This is Dhimmitude.

I recommend sending this onto your contacts.   American citizens need to know about it .

Tolerance

Tolerance

I am truly perplexed that so many people are against a mosque being built at Ground Zero.
I think it should be the goal of everyone to be tolerant.
Thus the Mosque should be allowed, in an effort to promote tolerance.
That is why two nightclubs should be opened next door to the mosque, thereby promoting tolerance from within the mosque.
One of the clubs, which would be gay, "The Turban Cowboy ", and the other a topless bar called "You Mecca Me Hot .."
Next door should be a butcher shop that specializes in pork, and adjacent to that an open-pit barbeque pork restaurant, called "Iraq o' Ribs".
Across the street there could be a lingerie store called "Victoria Keeps Nothing Secret", with sexy mannequins in the window modeling the goods.
Next door to the lingerie shop there would be room for an adult sex toy shop, "Koranal Knowledge", its name in flashing neon lights, and on the other side a liquor store called "Morehammered."
All of this would encourage the Muslims to demonstrate the tolerance they demand of everyone else, so the mosque problem would be solved.
If you agree with promoting tolerance, and you think this is a good plan, please pass it on.

Not Happy

OH YES, how true!

The Arabs are not happy

· They are not happy in Gaza.

· They are not happy in the West Bank.

· They are not happy in Jerusalem.

· They are not happy in Israel.

· They are not happy in Egypt.

· They are not happy in Libya.

· They are not happy in Algeria.

· They are not happy in Tunis.

· They are not happy in Morocco.

· They are not happy in Yemen.

· They are not happy in Iraq.

· They are not happy in Afghanistan.

· They are not happy in Syria.

· They are not happy in Lebanon.

· They are not happy in Sudan.

· They are not happy in Jordan.

· They are not happy in Iran.

Where are the Arabs happy?

They are happy in     England.

They are happy in     France.

They are happy in     Italy.

They are happy in     Germany.

They are happy in     Sweden.

They are happy in     Holland.

They are happy in     Denmark.

They are happy in    Belgium.

They are happy in     Norway.

They are happy in     the U.S.

They are happy in    Canada.

They are happy in     Romania.

They are happy in    Hungary.

They are happy in    Australia.

They are happy in     New Zealand.

They are happy in any other country in the world that is not under a Muslim rule.

And who do they blame?

· Not Islam.

· Not their leadership.

· Not themselves.

But the countries in which they are happy to live.

This is so true... Democracy is really good for them:

In a democracy they can live comfortably,

Enjoy the high quality of life which they did not build and work for,

They don't have to be productive and earn a living,

They can be wild, and break the law,

Exploit the social services, wear Burkas and make a mockery of our Police and Courts and generally  bite the hand that feeds them.

The question is why do they always try to bring their failed system with them, why do they want to turn Australia & other countries into the country they left for a better life...?

Australian Muslims make up less than 3% of our population yet our Government is fixated on pandering to them... Why??

If You Agree, send it on, if not ... DELETE.

Anthony Weiner and Huma Abedin

This is really something to read........scary........and that puts it mildly!!

*The fallout from the Anthony Weiner fiasco includes a mystery no one yet has resolved, especially the media which is ignoring it like the plague. Make that: Two mysteries*

*Mystery # 1) How is it that Anthony Weiner, a Jew, married a devout Muslim woman, and vice-versa?*

*Mystery #2) How is it that a devout Muslim woman with strong ties to the notorious Muslim Brotherhood is working within a trusted position in the highest levels of the Department of State?*

*Here are the facts as we know them:*

*1 - Anthony Weiner, a Jewish U.S. Congressman from New York, (now resigned) married Huma Abedin, a practicing Muslim woman, in 2010.

Ex-President Bill Clinton officiated.*

*2 - Huma Abedin was born in Michigan, but grew up in Saudi Arabia, the daughter of devout Muslim parents. She was later educated in the U.S. and remains a devout, practicing Muslim.*

*3 - At age 20, Huma Abedin started working as a White House assistant to then first lady, Hillary Clinton in 1996, and has been by Mrs.. Clinton's side ever since. She now holds the position of Aide and

Deputy Chief of Staff to Sec. Hillary Clinton in the State Department.*

*4 - According to numerous sources, which has not been denied or refuted, the mother of Huma Abedin - a Pakistani - is a member of the Muslim Sisterhood, or, the women's division of the MuslimBrotherhood.*

*5.. - Huma Abedin's brother is a fellow with the Oxford Centre For Islamic Studies, which is heavily supported by the Muslim Brotherhood.*

*6.. - Islamic scholars and experts confirm that no Muslim woman - especially devout Muslims and members of the sisterhood - may marry a non-Muslim man, yet a Jew, unless that man has converted to Islam.*

*7.. - It is well known, especially in intelligence circles including the CIA and the FBI, that the Muslim Brotherhood is the most notorious global, anti-American, jihadist organization in the world, with long range sights set upon establishing an Islamic caliphate in the west. (That means, converting America into an Islamic nation, folks). According to their own documents - authored by the highest levels in the MB - America is destined to be settled as an Islamic nation, and that it will use deceit and infiltration to accomplish this goal from within.*

*FROM WITHIN!*

*Readers tend to gloss over this, but it is as important as Mein Kampf was to the burgeoning Nazi movement in 1930s Germany that so many ignored. You've read it before. Here, again, is their language taken from the Muslim Brotherhood manifesto, introduced at the Holy Land Foundation trial:*

*"The process of settlement is a "Civilization-Jihadist Process" with all the means. The Ikhwan [Muslim Brotherhood] must understand that their work in America is a kind of grand Jihad in eliminating and destroying the Western civilization from within and "sabotaging" its miserable house by their hands and the hands of the believers so that it is eliminated and Allah's religion is made victorious."*

*Conclusions:*

** The Muslim Brotherhood - or its affiliations - has infiltrated the highest levels of our government.*

** Hillary Clinton is either in denial, stupid, naive or complicit in having such a person with ties to the MB working within the highest levels of the State Department. That goes for the president as well.*

** There is certainly more to the story of the Weiner wedding, which we don't know about. If Anthony Weiner, in fact, converted to Islam, it was done surreptitiously because it would have been a death knell to his political career. And, if so, Weiner certainly knew of the Muslim Brotherhood connections of his wife.*

** If the Islamic community has approved of, or ignores the marriage between Jewish born Weiner and Huma Abedin, it can be logically concluded that they - the Islamic community - know something we don't. An Imam from the Islamic Cultural center of New York, Omar Abu-Namous, not only approved of the union, he has encouraged Huma Abedin to stand by her man during the cybersex scandal. Thus, it must be advantageous to the goals of Islamic jihad and the MB to have Huma Abedin inside the bowels of the Department of State with daily access to governmental intelligence. Therefore, her "marriage" to a U.S. congressman, regardless of religion, was openly accepted.*

*That, folks, is an example of "Taqiyya" which I've often written about. Taqiyya is the Islamic equivalent to using lies, deceit and concealment in order to advance the cause of spreading Islam.

The 9/11 al Qaeda terrorists blended with American society for months prior to the deadly attack, drinking alcohol, carousing with women and eating pork, in order to conceal who they truly were, in order to carry out their mission.*

*Their mission was to infiltrate and kill. The mission of the Muslim Brotherhood is to infiltrate and conquer, even if it takes 100 years. In the Muslim Brotherhood planning document, "The Project," it clearly states - among their strategies:* ** Maintain the appearance of moderation* ** Use deception to mask the intended goals of Islamic Action* *We know about these things, the government knows about these things, the highest of officials know, yet they are inexplicably ignored.*

*Forget about the war in Afghanistan and Iraq. We are losing the war right here. And our government is helping.*

Jeff Foxworthy

If you refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor. You may be a Muslim If you own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes. You may be a Muslim If you have more wives than teeth. You may be a Muslim If you wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon unclean. You may be a Muslim If you think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide. You may be a Muslim If you consider television dangerous but routinely carry explosives in your clothing. You may be a Muslim If you were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs. You may be a Muslim If you have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four. You may be a Muslim If you find this offensive or racist and don't forward it. You may be a Muslim.

Muslims My Ass

Barack Obama,
during his Cairo speech, said:
"I know, too, that Islam has always been a part
of America 's story."

AN AMERICAN CITIZEN'S RESPONSE:


Dear Mr. Obama:

Were those Muslims that were in America when the Pilgrims first landed? Funny, I thought they were Native American Indians.

Were those Muslims that celebrated the first Thanksgiving day? Sorry again, those were Pilgrims and Native American Indians.

Can you
show me one Muslim signature on the United
States Constitution?


Declaration
of Independence ?

Bill of
Rights?


Didn't
think so.


Did
Muslims fight for this country's freedom from
England ? No.


Did
Muslims fight during the Civil War to free the
slaves in America ? No, they did
not. In fact, Muslims to this day are
still the largest traffickers in human
slavery.. Your own half brother, a devout
Muslim, still advocates slavery himself, even
though Muslims of Arabic descent refer to black
Muslims as "pug nosed slaves." Says a lot
of what the Muslim world really thinks of your
family's "rich Islamic heritage," doesn't it Mr.
Obama?


Where were
Muslims during the Civil Rights era of this
country? Not present.


There are
no pictures or media accounts of Muslims walking
side by side with Martin Luther King, Jr. or
helping to advance the cause of Civil
Rights.


Where were
Muslims during this country's Woman's Suffrage
era? Again, not present. In fact,
devout Muslims demand that women are subservient
to men in the Islamic culture. So much so,
that often they are beaten for not wearing the
'hajib' or for talking to a man who is not a
direct family member or their husband.
Yep, the Muslims are all for women's rights,
aren't they?


Where were
Muslims during World War II? They were
aligned with Adolf Hitler. The Muslim
grand mufti himself met with Adolf Hitler,
reviewed the troops and accepted support from
the Nazi's in killing Jews.


Finally,
Mr. Obama, where were Muslims on Sept. 11th,
2001? If they weren't flying planes into
the World Trade Center , the Pentagon or a field
in Pennsylvania killing nearly 3,000 people on
our own soil, they were rejoicing in the Middle
East . No one can dispute the pictures
shown from all parts of the Muslim world
celebrating on CNN, Fox News, MSNBC and other
cable news networks that day. Strangely,
the very "moderate" Muslims who's asses you bent
over backwards to kiss in Cairo , Egypt on June
4th were stone cold silent post 9-11. To
many Americans, their silence has meant approval
for the acts of that day.


And THAT, Mr.
Obama, is the "rich heritage" Muslims have here
in America ..


Oh, I'm sorry, I
forgot to mention the Barbary Pirates.
They were Muslim.


And now we can
add November 5, 2009 - the slaughter of American
soldiers at Fort Hood by a Muslim major who is a
doctor and a psychiatrist who was supposed to be
counseling soldiers returning from battle in
Iraq and Afghanistan ..


That, Mr. Obama
is the "Muslim heritage" in America
.
EVERY AMERICAN
MUST READ THIS !!


Be sure to
SEND IT TO ALL .




Muslim Heritage, my ass.

Fwd: WHAT DOES THIS WORD MEAN ?

WHAT DOES THIS WORD MEAN ?

  

Check Snopes and Google, but don't stop there, take the time to visit your Library.  

Dhimmitude -- What does it mean?  

Obama used it in the health care bill.
Now isn't this interesting? It is used in the health care law.
 Dhimmitude -- I had never heard the word until now.  Type it into Google and start reading.  Pretty interesting. It's on page 107 of the healthcare bill.  I looked this up on Google and yep, it exists..  It is a REAL word.

Word of the Day: Dhimmitude
 Dhimmitude is the Muslim system of controlling non-Muslim populations conquered through jihad. Specifically, it is the TAXING of non-Muslims in exchange for tolerating their presence AND as a coercive means of converting conquered remnants to Islam.

ObamaCare allows the establishment of Dhimmitude and Sharia Muslim diktat in the United States .  Muslims are specifically exempted from the government mandate to purchase insurance, and also from the penalty tax for being uninsured.  Islam considers insurance to be "gambling", "risk-taking", and "usury" and is thus banned. Muslims are specifically granted exemption based on this. 

How convenient.  So I, as a Christian, will have crippling IRS liens placed against all of my assets, including real estate, cattle, and even accounts receivables, and will face hard prison time because I refuse to buy insurance or pay the penalty tax. Meanwhile, Louis Farrakhan will have no such penalty and will have 100% of his health needs paid for by the de facto government insurance.  Non-Muslims will be paying a tax to subsidize Muslims.   This is Dhimmitude.
I recommend sending this onto your contacts.   American citizens need to know about it