Jeff Foxworthy

If you refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor. You may be a Muslim If you own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes. You may be a Muslim If you have more wives than teeth. You may be a Muslim If you wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon unclean. You may be a Muslim If you think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide. You may be a Muslim If you consider television dangerous but routinely carry explosives in your clothing. You may be a Muslim If you were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs. You may be a Muslim If you have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four. You may be a Muslim If you find this offensive or racist and don't forward it. You may be a Muslim.