"Bankruptcy 101"...

It's easy to dismiss individual programs that benefit non-citizens until they're put together and this picture emerges. Someone did a lot of research to put together all of this data. Often these programs are buried within other programs making them difficult to find.
A Real Eye Opener
WHY is the USA BANKRUPT?
Informative, and mind boggling!
You think the war in Iraq was costing
us too much? Read this:

We have been hammered with propaganda

that it was the Iraq war and the war on terror

that are bankrupting us.
You may find that to be RIDICULOUS when you

examine the following information.

Hopefully, the following 14 reasons will be forwarded over and over again until they are read so many times that readers get sick of reading them. Also
included are the URL's for verificationof all the following facts...

1. $11 Billion to $22 billion is spent on welfare
to illegal aliens each year by state governments.
Verify at:

http://www.fairus.org/site/PageServer?pagename=iic_immigrationissuecenters7fd8 <" target="_blank"http://www.fairus.org/site/PageServer?pagename=iic_immigrationissuecenters7fd8>; <http://www.fairus.org/site/PageServer?pagename=iic_immigrationissuecenters7fd8 <" target="_blank"http://www.fairus.org/site/PageServer?pagename=iic_immigrationissuecenters7fd8>; >
2. $22 Billion dollars a year is spent on food
assistance programs such as food stamps,
WIC, and free school lunches for illegal aliens.
Verify at:

http://www.cis.org/articles/2004/fiscalexec.HTML <" target="_blank"http://www.cis.org/articles/2004/fiscalexec.HTML>; <http://www.cis.org/articles/2004/fiscalexec.HTML <" target="_blank"http://www.cis.org/articles/2004/fiscalexec.HTML>; >
3.$2.5 Billion dollars a year is spent on
Medicaid for illegal aliens.
Verify at:
http://www.cis.org/articles/2004/fiscalexec.HTML <" target="_blank"http://www.cis.org/articles/2004/fiscalexec.HTML>; <" target="_blank"http://www.cis.org/articles/2004/fiscalexec.HTML>; <" target="_blank"http://www.cis.org/articles/2004/fiscalexec.HTML>;
4. $12 Billion dollars a year is spent on
primary and secondary school education
for children who are here illegally and who
cannot speak a word of English!
Verify at:

http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANscriptS/0604/01/ldt..0.HTML <" target="_blank"http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANscriptS/0604/01/ldt...0.HTML>; <http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANscriptS/0604/01/ldt....0.HTML <" target="_blank"http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANscriptS/0604/01/ldt..0.HTML>; >
5.$17 Billion dollars a year is spent on
education for the American-born
children of illegal aliens, known as
'anchor babies'. Verify at

http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANscriptS/0604/01/ldt.01.HTML <" target="_blank"http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANscriptS/0604/01/ldt.01.HTML>; <http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANscriptS/0604/01/ldt...01.HTML <" target="_blank"http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANscriptS/0604/01/ldt.01.HTML>; >
6. $3 Million Dollars a DAY is spent to
incarcerate illegal aliens.
Verify at:
http://transcripts.cnn.com/%20TRANscriptS/0604/01/ldt.01.HTML <" target="_blank"http://transcripts.cnn.com/%20TRANscriptS/0604/01/ldt.01.HTML>; <http://transcripts.cnn.com/%20TRANscriptS/0604/01/ldt.01.HTML <" target="_blank"http://transcripts.cnn.com/%20TRANscriptS/0604/01/ldt.01.HTML>; >

http://transcripts.cnn.com/%20TRANscriptS/0604/01/ldt.01.HTML <" target="_blank"http://transcripts.cnn.com/%20TRANscriptS/0604/01/ldt.01HTML>;

<" target="_blank"http://transcripts.cnn.com/%20TRANscriptS/0604/01/ldt.01.HTML>;

<" target="_blank"http://transcripts.cnn.com/%20TRANscriptS/0604/01/ldt.01.HTML>;

<http://transcripts.cnn.com/%20TRANscriptS/0604/01/ldt.01.HTML <" target="_blank"http://transcripts.cnn.com/%20TRANscriptS/0604/01/ldt.01.HTML>; <" target="_blank"http://transcripts.cnn.com/%20TRANscriptS/0604/01/ldt.01.HTML>;


7. 30% percent of all Federal Prison
inmates are illegal aliens.
Verify at:

http://transcripts.cnn..com/TRANscriptS/0604/01/ldt.01.HTML <" target="_blank"http://transcriptscnn.com/TRANscriptS/0604/01/ldt.01.HTML>; <" target="_blank"http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANscriptS/0604/01/ldt.01.HTML>;

<" target="_blank"http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANscriptS/0604/01/ldt.01.HTML>;
<http://transcripts/ <" target="_blank"http://transcripts/>; <http://transcripts/ <" target="_blank"http://transcripts/>; > .."

8.
$90 Billion Dollars a year is spent on
illegal aliens for Welfare & social
services paid for by American taxpayers.
Verify at:

http://premium.cnn.com/TRANSCIPTS/0610/29/ldt.01.HTML <" target="_blank"http://premium.cnn.com/TRANSCIPTS/0610/29/ldt.01.HTML>; <" target="_blank"http://premium.cnn.com/TRANSCIPTS/0610/29/ldt.01.HTML>; <" target="_blank"http://premium.cnn.com/TRANSCIPTS/0610/29/ldt.01.HTML>;
9.$200 Billion dollars a year in suppressed
American wages are caused by illegal
aliens. Verify at:

http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRI < <" target="_blank"http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSC>; http://www.nationalpolicyinstitute/

<" target="_blank"http://www.nationalpolicyinstitute/>; ..13. In 2006, illegal aliens sent home
$45 BILLION in remittances to their
countries of origin.
Verify at:

http://www/ <" target="_blank"http://www/>; . <http://www/ <" target="_blank"http://www/>; /..rense.com/general75/niht.htm <" target="_blank"http://rense.com/general75/niht.htm>; > rense.com/general75/niht.htm <" target="_blank"http://rense.com/general75/niht.htm>; <http://www/..rense.com/general75/niht.htm <" target="_blank"http://www/..rense.com/general75/niht.htm>; > ;


14.
The Dark Side of Illegal Immigration:
Nearly one million sex crimes have been committed
by Illegal Immigrants In The United States .
Verify at:

http: // www.drdsk.com/articleshtml <" target="_blank"http://www.drdsk.com/articleshtml>; <<TAN style="COLOR: darkblue">http://www.drdsk.com/articleshtml <" target="_blank"http://www.drdsk.com/articleshtml>; >;
20w.drdsk.com/articleshtml <" target="_blank"http://20w.drdsk.com/articleshtml>; <http://20w.drdsk.com/articleshtml <" target="_blank"http://20w.drdsk.com/articleshtml>; >;The total cost is a whopping

$ 338.3 BILLION DOLLARS
A YEAR AND IF YOU'RE LIKE ME, IT'S HARD TO 'WRAP YOUR HEAD AROUND' THIS AMOUNT OF MONEY; IT IS $338,300,000,000.00 WHICH
WOULD BE ENOUGH TO STIMULATE
THE ECONOMY FOR ALL THE CITIZENS OF
OUR COUNTRY.
Have we been THAT Stupid?

YES, FOR LETTING THOSE IN THE U.S. CONGRESS GET AWAY WITH LETTING THIS HAPPEN YEAR AFTER YEAR!!!!!

If this doesn't bother you, just delete this message. If, on the other hand, it raises the hair on the back of your neck, forward it to every legal U.S.resident

Idiot Sighting

IDIOT SIGHTING

I handed the teller @ my bank a withdrawal slip for $400.00 
I said "May I have large bills, please"
She looked at me and said "I'm sorry sir, all the bills are the same size."
When I got up off the floor I explained it to her....

IDIOT  SIGHTING When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it.  We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I  watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.  'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'it's open!'  His reply: 'I know. I already got that  side.'
 This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS

  

 IDIOT SIGHTING
We had to have the garage door repaired.
The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the  opener.

I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.

He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a  1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.

He said, 'NO, it's  not..' Four is larger than two.'         We  haven't used Sears repair since. 

  IDIOT  SIGHTING
    My  daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk  a $5 bill.

Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.

She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.

She sighed and went  to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request.

I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but we could not do that kind of thing.'

The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.   
  
Do  not confuse the clerks at McD's. 

  
IDIOT  SIGHTING

I live in a semi rural area.

We recently had a new neighbor call the local  township administrative office

to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road.

The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here!

I don't  think this is a good place for  them to be crossing anymore.' 
From  Kingman ,  KS  
IDIOT  SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE
My daughter went to a local Taco  Bell    and ordered a taco.

She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce. 
   -- From  Kansas City     
IDIOT  SIGHTING
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,

'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'

To  which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'

He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'

Happened in  Birmingham ,  Ala.  

  IDIOT  SIGHTING
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street.

I was  crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.

I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.

Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing  driving?!' 
She  was a probation officer in  Wichita   , KS    

IDIOT SIGHTING

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to 'downsizing,' our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.'

Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at  each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

This was a lunch at  Texas   Instruments. 

  
IDIOT SIGHTING   I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself

and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

A deputy with the  Dallas    County   Sheriffs office, no less.   

How would you pronounce this child's name?"Le-a"
Leah??                NO
Lee - A??            NOPE
Lay - a??             NO
Lei??          Guess Again.

This child attends a school in  Kansas City,  Mo. 

Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong.

It's pronounced "Ledasha".

When the Mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, "the dash don't be silent." 

SO, if you see something come across your desk like this please remember to pronounce the dash.

If dey axe you why, tell dem de dash don't be silent.

STAY ALERT!

They live among us.
They often look normal.
And they vote!

I Do Not Freebase Cocaine

I Have a Question

Pat Boone on Obama......Simply Outstanding

CHRISTIAN NATION!

When you have read what Pat Boone wrote about Obama(below), you may want to click on the link to "Snopes", which brings up a page telling you that this is an actual letter written by Pat Boone - and Very well written, I might add.

THIS IS AN EXCELLENT COMMENTARY,

AND SHOULD BE READ BY EVERY AMERICAN  !

The President Without A Country
By Pat Boone

"We're no longer a Christian nation." - President Barack Obama, June 2009

" America has been arrogant." - President Barack Obama

"After 9/11, America didn't always live up to her ideals."- President Barack Obama

"You might say that America is a Muslim nation."- President Barack Obama, Egypt 2009

Thinking about these and other statements made by the man who wears the title of president. I keep wondering what country he believes he's president of.

In one of my very favorite stories, Edward Everett Hale's "The Man without a Country," a young Army lieutenant named Philip Nolan stands condemned for treason during the Revolutionary War, having come under the influence of Aaron Burr. When the judge asks him if he wishes to say anything before sentence is passed, young Nolan defiantly exclaims, "Damn the United States! I wish I might never hear of the United States again!"

The stunned silence in the courtroom is palpable, pulsing. After a long pause, the judge soberly says to the angry lieutenant: "You have just pronounced your own sentence. You will never hear of the United States again.. I sentence you to spend the rest of your life at sea, on one or another of this country's naval vessels - under strict orders that no one will ever speak to you again about the country you have just cursed."

And so it was. Philip Nolan was taken away and spent the next 40 years at sea, never hearing anything but an occasional slip of the tongue about America.. The last few pages of the story, recounting Nolan's dying hours in his small stateroom - now turned into a shrine to the country he foreswore - never fail to bring me to tears.  And I find my own love for this dream, this miracle called America, refreshed and renewed. I know how blessed and unique we are.

But reading and hearing the audacious, shocking statements of the man who was recently elected our president - a young black man living the impossible dream of millions of young Americans, past and present, black and white - I want to ask him, "Just what country do you think you're president of?"

You surely can't be referring to the United States of America, can you? America is emphatically a Christian nation, and has been from its inception! Seventy percent of her citizens identify themselves as Christian. The Declaration of Independence and our Constitution were framed, written and ratified by Christians. It's because this was, and is, a nation built on and guided by Judeo-Christian biblical principles that you, sir, have had the inestimable privilege of being elected her president.

You studied law at Harvard, didn't you, sir? You taught constitutional law in Chicago ?  Did you not ever read the statement of John Jay, the first Chief Justice of the Supreme Court and an author of the landmark "Federalist Papers": "Providence has given to our people the choice of their rulers - and it is the duty, as well as the privilege and interest of our Christian nation - to select and prefer Christians for their rulers"?

In your studies, you surely must have read the decision of the Supreme Court in 1892: "Our lives and our institutions must necessarily be based upon and embody the teachings of the Redeemer of mankind. It is impossible that it should be otherwise; and in this sense and to this extent our civilization and our institutions are emphatically Christian."

Did your professors have you skip over all the high-court decisions right up till the mid 1900's that echoed and reinforced these views and intentions?  Did you pick up the history of American jurisprudence only in 1947, when for the first time a phrase coined by Thomas Jefferson about a "wall of separation between church and state" was used to deny some specific religious expression - contrary to Jefferson 's intent with that statement?

Or, wait a minute: were your ideas about America 's Christianity formed during the 20 years you were a member of the Trinity United Church of Christ under your pastor, Jeremiah Wright?  Is that where you got the idea that " America is no longer a Christian nation"? Is this where you, even as you came to call yourself a Christian, formed the belief that " America has been arrogant"?

Even if that's the understandable explanation of your damning of your country and accusing the whole nation (not just a few military officials trying their best to keep more Americans from being murdered by jihadists) of "not always living up to her ideals," how did you come up with the ridiculous, alarming notion that we might be"considered a Muslim nation"?

Is it because there are some 2 million or more Muslims living here, trying to be good Americans? Out of a current population of over 300 million, 70 percent of whom are Christians? Does that make us, by any rational definition, a "Muslim nation"?

Why are we not, then, a "Chinese nation"? A "Korean nation"? Even a "Vietnamese nation"? There are even more of these distinct groups in America than Muslims. And if the distinction you're trying to make is a religious one, why is America not "a Jewish nation"? There's actually a case to be made for the latter, because our Constitution - and the success of our Revolution and founding - owe a deep debt to our Jewish brothers.

Have you stopped to think what an actual Muslim America would be like? Have you ever really spent much time in Iran ? Even in Egypt ? You, having been instructed in Islam as a kid at a Muslim school in Indonesia and saying you still love the call to evening prayers, can surely picture our nation founded on the Quran, not the Judeo-Christian Bible, and living under Shariah law. Can't you? You do recall Muhammad's directives [Surah 9:5,73] to "break the cross" and "kill the infidel"?

It seems increasingly and painfully obvious that you are more influenced by your upbringing and questionable education than most suspected.  If you consider yourself the president of a people who are "no longer Christian," who have "failed to live up to our ideals," who "have been arrogant," and might even be "considered Muslim" - you are president of a country most Americans don't recognize.

Could it be you are a president without a country?

http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/patboone.asp

Congressional Change

        The 26th amendment (granting the right to vote for 18
year-olds) took only 3 months & 8 days to be ratified!  Why?  Simple! 
The people demanded it.  That was in 1971...before computers, before
e-mail, before cell phones, etc.

        Of  the 27 amendments to the Constitution, seven (7) took 1 year or less to become the law of the  land...all because of public pressure.

        I'm asking each addressee to forward this email to a minimum of
twenty people on their address list;  in turn ask each of those to do
likewise.

        In three days, most people in The United States of America will
have the message.  This is one idea that really should be passed
around.

        Congressional Reform Act of  2011

        1.  No Tenure / No Pension. A  Congressman collects a salary
while in office and receives no pay when they are out of office.

        2.  Congress (past, present & future) participates in Social
Security. All funds in the Congressional retirement fund move to the
Social Security system immediately. All  future funds flow into the
Social Security system, and Congress participates with the American
people.  It may not be used for any other purpose.

        3. Congress can purchase their own retirement plan, just as all
Americans do.

        4. Congress will no longer vote themselves a pay raise. 
Congressional pay will rise by the lower of CPI or 3%.

        5. Congress loses their current health care system and
participates in the same health care system as the American people.

        6. Congress must equally abide by all laws they impose on the
American people.

        7. All contracts with past and present Congressmen are void
effective 1/1/12. ---- The American people did not make this contract
with Congressmen.  Congressmen made all these contracts for
themselves.  Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career.  The 
Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, so ours should serve
their term(s), then go home and back to work.

        If each person contacts a minimum of twenty people then it will
only take three days for most people (in the  U.S. ) to receive the
message.  Maybe it is time.

        THIS IS HOW YOU FIX CONGRESS!!! ALL CONGRESSMEN NEED TO SIT UP
AND TAKE NOTICE!

        If  you agree with the above, pass it on.  If not, just delete.

what the H is wrong here ?????

SOME OF YOU MAY NOT AGREE WITH THE CONTENTS OF THIS ARTICLE.  IT IS NOT SLANTED TOWARDS ONE PARTY OR THE OTHER. IT IS WHAT IT IS.  THE PROBLEMS STEM FROM MANY YEARS GONE BY INCURRED BY BOTH PARTIES.  IT IS A DAMN SHAME WHAT IS HAPPENING TO US THE AVERAGE AMERICAN PEOPLE!!!

Remember, not only did you contribute to Social Security but your employer did too. It totaled 15% of your income before taxes. If you averaged only 30K over your working life, that’s close to $220,500. If you calculate the future value of $4,500 per year (yours & your employer’s contribution) at a simple 5% (less than what the govt. pays on the money that it borrows), after 49 years of working (me) you’d have $892,919.98. If you took out only 3% per year, you receive $26,787.60 per year and it would last better than 30 years, and that’s with no interest paid on that final amount on deposit! If you bought an annuity and it paid 4% per year, you’d have a lifetime income of $2,976.40 per month. The folks in Washington have pulled off a bigger Ponzi scheme than Bernie Madhoff ever had.  

I didn't try to clean up the language in this message. It makes a better impact as it is. 

 

Entitlement my ass , I paid cash for my social security insurance!!!! Just because they borrowed the money , doesn't make my benefits some kind of charity or handout !! Congressional benefits , aka. free healthcare , outrageous retirement packages , 67 paid holidays , three weeks paid vacation , unlimited paid sick days , now that's welfare , and they have the nerve to call my retirement entitlements !!!!!!.....scroll down..............
 

What the HELL's wrong??? WAKE UP AMERICA !!!! Tuesday's Daily Bulletin paper, ran two articles on the front page side by side : 1- Calif 's 20 Billion Dollar Budget Deficit 2- The Calif Supreme Court ruling that ILLEGALS can attend college and get benefits. Why don't they just deport them when they arrive to register? 3- Last year they ran an article on the yearly costs to Calif Taxpayers from Illegals using Hospital Emergency Rooms for their general health care - At just one hospital the cost to tax payers totaled over 25  million a year  Someone please tell me what the HELL's wrong with all the people that run this country!!!!!! We're "broke" & can't help our own Seniors, Veterans, Orphans, Homeless etc.,??????????? In the last months we have provided aid to Haiti , Chile , and Turkey . And now Pakistan ......home of bin Laden.  Literally, BILLIONS of DOLLARS!!! Our retired seniors living on a 'fixed income' receive no aid nor do they get any breaks while our government and religious organizations pour Hundreds of Billions of $$$$$$'s and Tons of Food to Foreign Countries! They call Social Security and Medicare an entitlement even though most of us have been paying for it all our working lives and now when its time for us to collect, the government is running out of money. Why did the government borrow from it in the first place? We have hundreds of adoptable children who are shoved aside to make room for the adoption of foreign orphans.  AMERICA: a country where we have homeless without shelter,  children going to bed hungry, elderly going without 'needed' meds, and mentally ill without treatment –etc. etc. YET.....................They have a 'Benefit'  for the people of Haiti on 12 TV stations, ships and planes lining up with food, water, tents clothes, bedding, doctors and medical supplies. Imagine if the *GOVERNMENT* gave 'US' the same support they give to other countries. Sad isn't it? 99% of people won't have the guts to forward this. I'm one of the 1% -- I Just Did

RE: Best Milk Commercial Ever

Best Milk Commercial Ever

Redfish Swarm

Eat Mor Chikin

(I like Chick-fil-A sandwiches.  Think I'll have them more often now.  BYW, the info in this email appears to be factual.  You can check it out by Googling "war against Chick-fil-A" or similar. )

Believe I'll go to Chick-fil-A and get some "Jesus Chicken" and waffle fries
for my family at least once a week. Chick-fil-A is an American success story. Founded by Georgian entrepreneur Truett Cathy in 1946, the family-owned chicken-sandwich chain is one of the country's largest fast-food businesses. It employs some 50,000 workers across the country at 1,500 outlets in nearly 40 states and the District of Columbia. The company generates more than $2 billion in revenue and serves millions of happy customers with trademark Southern hospitality.

So, what's the problem? Well, Chick-fil-A is run by devout Christians who
believe in strong marriages, devoted families, and the highest standards of
character for their workers. The restaurant chain's official corporate mission is to "glorify God" and "enrich the lives of everyone we touch." The company's community-service initiatives, funded through its WinShape Foundation, support foster-care, scholarship, summer-camp, and marriage-enrichment programs. On Sunday, all Chick-fil-A stores close so workers can spend the day at worship and rest.

Over the past month, several progressive-activist blogs have waged an ugly
war against Chick-fil-A. The company's alleged atrocity: One of its independent outlets in Pennsylvania donated some sandwiches and brownies to a marriage seminar run by the Pennsylvania Family Institute, which happens to oppose same-sex marriage. In the name of tolerance, the anti-Chick-fil-A hawks sneered at the
company's main product as "Jesus Chicken," derided its no-Sunday-work
policy, and attacked its operators as "anti-gay." Petition drives on websites are demanding the company change and disavow their standards. Facebook users dutifully organized witch hunts against the company on college campuses.

Progressive groups are gloating over Chick-fil-A's public-relations troubles. This is not because they care about winning hearts and minds over gay rights or marriage policy, but because their core objective is to marginalize political opponents and chill Christian philanthropy and activism. The fearsome "muscle flexing" is being done by the hysterical bullies trying to drive them off of college grounds and out of their neighborhoods in the name of "human rights"

Please pass this on if you believe companies with Christian principles have
a right to freely conduct business in the U.S.

In God We Trust

Ernesto

At dawn the telephone rings, "Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto, the
caretaker at your country house."

"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"

"Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot, he is
dead".

"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"

"Si, Senor, that's the one."

"Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die
from?"

"From eating the rotten meat, Senor Rod."

"Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?"

"Nobody, Senor . He ate the meat of the dead horse."

"Dead horse? What dead horse?"

"The thoroughbred, Senor Rod."

"My prize thoroughbred is dead?"

"Yes, Senor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart."

"Are you insane? What water cart?"

"The one we used to put out the fire, Senor."

"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"

"The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on
fire."

"What the hell? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a
candle?!"

"Yes, Senor Rod."

"But there's electricity at the house! What was the candle for?"

"For the funeral, Senor Rod."

"WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL??!!"

"Your wife's, Senor Rod". She showed up very late one night and I thought
she was a thief, so I shot her with your new Kreighoff Limited Edition
Custom Gold Engraved Trap Special with the custom Wangi Exhibition Grade
Stock.

SILENCE... LONG SILENCE...VERY LONG SILENCE.
Ernesto
"Ernesto, if you scratched that shotgun, you're in deep shit."

Feel Like a Woman

On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes
through a severe storm.

The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad
to worse when one wing is struck by lightning.

One woman, in particular, loses it...   Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane.

'I'm too young to die,' she wails.

Then she yells, 'If I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable!'

Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN?'

For a moment there is silence.
Everyone has forgotten their own peril.

They all stare, eyes riveted, at this desperate
woman in the front of the plane.

Then a cowboy from Jackson stands up in the rear of the plane.

He is handsome, well built, with dark brown hair and blue eyes.

He starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt, one button at a time.

No one moves.
He removes his shirt.  Muscles ripple across his chest.

She gasps.

He whispers . . .

"Iron this. Then get me a beer."

The "hit" list

                                        

These are all the programs that the new Republican House has proposed cutting.

                                             

         Annual Savings

• Corporation for Public Broadcasting Subsidy.                 $445 million
• America 's Treasures Program.                                           $25 million
• International Fund for Ireland .                                           $17 million
• Legal Services Corporation.                                               $420 million
• National Endowment for the Arts.                                     $167.5 million
• National Endowment for the Humanities.                         $167.5 million
• Hope VI Program..                                                              $250 million
• Amtrak Subsidies.                                                           $1,565 Billion 
• Eliminate duplicative education programs. H.R. 2274
• (in last Congress), authored by Rep. McKeon,
• eliminates 68 at a savings of                                           $1.3 Billion
• U.S. Trade Development Agency.                                       $55 million
• Woodrow Wilson Center Subsidy.                                      $20 million
• Cut in half funds for congressional printing and binding.$47 million
• John C. Stennis Center Subsidy.                                       $430,000
• Community Development Fund.  (ACORN?)                        $4.5 Billion 
• Heritage Area Grants and Statutory Aid.                           $24 million  
• Cut Federal Travel Budget in Half.                                     $7.5 Billion
• Trim Federal Vehicle Budget by 20%.                             $600 million  
• Essential Air Service.                                                         $150 million
• Technology Innovation Program.                                       $70 million
• Manufacturing Extension Partnership (MEP) Program. $125 million
• Dept of Energy Grants to States for Weatherization.     $530 million
• Beach Replenishment.                                                        $95 million
• New Starts Transit.                                                               $2 Billion
• Exchange Programs for Alaska , Natives Native Hawaiians, and Their Historical Trading Partners in Massachusett .                                                                                   $9 million
• Intercity and High Speed Rail Grants.                             $2.5 Billion 
• Title X Family Planning.                                                   $318 million
• Appalachian Regional Commission.                                  $76 million
• Economic Development Administration. (?)                     $293 million
• Programs under the National & Community Services Act.$1.15 Billion 
• Applied Research at Department of Energy.                $1.27 Billion
• FreedomCAR and Fuel Partnership.                               $200 million
• Energy Star Program.                                                        $52 million
• Economic Assistance to Egypt .                                      $250 million
• U.S. Agency for International Development.                  $1.39 Billion
• General Assistance to District of Columbia .                 $210 million
• Subsidy for Washington Metro Area Transit Auth.       $150 million
• Presidential Campaign Fund.  $775 million savings over ten years.
• No funding for federal office space acquisition.          $864 million
• End prohibitions on competitive sourcing of government services.
• Repeal the Davis-Bacon Act.                            More than $1 Billion
• IRS Direct Deposit: Require the IRS to deposit fees for some services
• it offers (such as processing payment plans for taxpayers) to the
• Treasury, instead of allowing it to remain as part of its budget.
•                                                           $1.8 Billion savings over ten years.
• Require collection of unpaid taxes by federal employees. $1 Billion total                                        WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• Prohibit taxpayer funded union activities by federal employees.
•                                                                        $1.2 Billion savings over ten years.
• Sell excess federal properties the government does not make use of.
•                                                                                            $15 billion.
• Eliminate death gratuity for Members of Congress.
• Eliminate Mohair Subsidies.                                              $1 million
• Eliminate taxpayer subsidies to the United Nations Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change.                                                     $12.5 million
• Eliminate Market Access Program.                              $200 million
• USDA Sugar Program.                                                     $14 million
• Subsidy to Organisation for Econ Co-operation and Develop. (OECD).
•                                                                                           $93 million
• Eliminate the National Organic Certif. Cost-Share Program.
•                                                                                        $56.2 million
• Eliminate fund for Obamacare administrative costs.  $900 million
• Ready to Learn TV Program.                                           $27 million
• HUD Ph.D. Program.
• Deficit Reduction Check-Off Act.
• TOTAL SAVINGS: $2.5 Trillion over Ten Years

My question is, what THE HELL is all this doing in the budget in the first place?