The Pope and The Oilfield Consultant

Pope John Paul dies of old age and finds himself at the gates of
Heaven at 0300. He knocks on the gate and a very sleepy-eyed
watchman opens the gate and asks, "Waddyah want?"
"I'm the recently deceased Pope and have done 68 years of godly
works and thought I should check in here."
The watchman checks his clipboard and says, "I ain't got no orders
for you here. Just bring your stuff in and we'll sort this out in
the morning." They go to an old WWII barracks, 3rd floor, open bay.
All the bottom racks are taken and all empty lockers have no doors.
The Pope stows his gear under a rack and climbs into an upper bunk.

The next morning he awakens to sounds of cheering and clapping. He
goes to the window and sees a flashy Jaguar convertible parading
down the clouds from the golden headquarters building. The cloud
walks are lined with saints and angels cheering and tossing
confetti. In the back seat sits a retired Oilfield Consultant, a cigar in
his mouth,
a can of Bud Lite beer in one hand, and his other arm around a
voluptuous blonde Angel with magnificent halos.

This sight disturbs the Pope and he runs downstairs to the the main gate
and
says to St. Peter, "Hey, what gives? You put me, the Pope with
68 years of godly deeds, in an open bay barracks, while this Oilfield
Consultant,
who must've committed every sin known and unknown to man is
staying in a mansion on the hill and getting a hero's welcome. How
can this be?"

The Master at Arms calmly looks up and says, "Hey, we get a Pope up
here every 20 or 30 years, but we've never had an Oilfield Consultant
before.

Coonass Survivor Series

Due to the popularity of the "Survivor " shows, Louisiana is planning to do one entitled, "Survivor, Louisiana-Style!"

The 8 contestants will all start in Lake Charles, then drive south to Cameron, east to Grand Chenier, north east to Lake Arthur, thru Gueydan, Kaplan, Abbeville, then they will proceed down Southeast to New Iberia, Franklin, Morgan City then really down south to Cocodrie, from there they will go north to Chauvin, Houma, Thibodaux, Plaquemine, Port Allen, then west on IH-10  through Breaux Bridge, Lafayette then finally back to Lake Charles.

Each will be driving a pink Volvo covered with bumper stickers that read: "I'm a Democrat", "Amnesty for Illegals", "I love Alec Baldwin, Barbara Streisand, Jane Fonda and the Dixie Chicks", "Boycott All Seafood", "coonasses talk funny", "stop drilling for oil", "rice is fattening", "chanky chank music sucks", "I voted for Obama", "Hillary in 2012" and..... "I'm here to confiscate all your guns"

The first one to make it back to Lake Charles alive wins !!!

God Bless Louisiana
Laissez les bon temps rouler

Macando BOP's

http://www.deepwater.com/fw/main/Blow-Out-Preventer-(BOP)-1079.html

Interesting view from Transocean

A Proper Oilfield Consultant

FW: Oklahoma Tornado and a Cimmarex rig

FW: 6' Rattlesnake on Location

This bad boy was killed this morning on location in Tilden, Tx.  Nearly 6' long, 14 buttons on his rattle. 

Oilfield Problem Solving



FW: Loss of Concentration on the Rig

FW: wells and fracing

Last Resort